About

Background

The Subourbon Boys were conceived in May 2017 when Brian Jacalone (Doobie) and Charles Barragan decided to get drunk on handcrafted blueberry margaritas and talk shit about life and the world in general.  After a brief disagreement and subsequent make up fellatio, it was decided that this material was worthy of putting out to the world.  Immediately we knew the members we wanted.  We needed to have Brian Wagner (Bonky), Doobie’s roomate, and Robbie Jacalone, Doobie’s cousin, the gayest and funniest guys we knew, resepectively.  The Subourbon Boys were born.

Prior to launch, Charles decided to leave California, and go to the land of the Cubs, turning his back on the Dodgers and Subourbon Boys forever.  May he RIP.

The Team

Brian Jacalone (Doobie)

doob

Doobie brings to the table 9+ years in the restaurant business with his hands in barbacking and restaurant management and everything in between.  He thoroughly hates most people, including you.  His favorite beer is the tears of stupid drunk girls, and his favorite food is tacos.

Brian Wagner (Bonky)

bonk

Well, where do we begin? Bonky’s father was relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.  His mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.  His father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.  Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.  Bonky’s childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons.  In the Spring they’d make meat helmets.  When he was insolent he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really.  At the age of 21, Bonky received his first scribe, at the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved his testicles.  There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking.  Bonky suggests you try it.

Bonky has been in the restaurant business for 16 years with emphasis on fine dining, and in his off time, enjoys fine drinking.  As well as not fine drinking, and medium fine drinking.  To put it lightly,  Bonky likes drinking, and has become quite the expert in the field.  Between working, drinking and Subourbon Boys, Bonky splits his time with his band, Split Second.

Robbie Jacalone

robbie

Robbie (No current nickname) is a current restaurant GM with 12 years in the business.  Robbie is known for his quick wit, and like his older cousin, hate for most people.  Robbie possesses the talent for calling you an asshole, and meaning it, yet all the while making you fall in love with him.  He has a strapping body covered in tattoos, and has promised should the Subourbon Boys make it to 100 episodes, a Subourbon Boys tattoo will cover his taint.  This will be the first live video episode.

Robbie is also a newlywed and a new father, to a beautiful baby boy.  He is currently the only Subourbon Boy with offspring,  and brings that unique point of view (and lack of sleep) to the show.  Look for Robbie to outwit, and outpenis the other boys on the regular.

Charles Barragan

charlesnotdeadfinal

DED